Open letter to Blue Bell Ice Cream Makers....

Dear Blue Bell Ice Cream Makers,


My name is Maria Hale and I am a devoted follower of all things Blue Bell.  While I have been a devoted follower for quite some time now, there's a few things that I need to talk to you about.  Why oh why must you be so delicious?  Why?  How do you expect me to come home from a long day of dealing with misfit junior high kids and need want to take just a few little bites of something wonderful and delicious to calm my soul?  Do you realize I get to work early and stay late and have to deal with CSCOPE?  Do you?  Do you know how horribly inappropriate it is to knock back a six pack of beer every day after leaving school?  Horribly. I mean really????  How would that look?   That's why I load my freezer with your delicious product. (Mainly the pints, cuz I have a little self esteem and how would that look to be sitting on the couch watching National Geographic eating straight from the gallon, (Shaw says get real you're watching Jersey Shore.... whatever Situation Shaw)   Let's take for example the pint that I just knocked back.  Caramel Kettle  Crunch.   The empty container claims that it is vanilla flavored  ice cream with caramel coated popcorn and caramel sauce.  Who comes up with this stuff?  I have eaten the WHOLE pint I tell ya!!! THE WHOLE PINT.... This whole time I have been blaming my soft and squishy (Sager's words not mine) body on kids (even though my youngest is 9....  I 'm just saying....) however, I think it's your fault Blue Bell.  I hate to say it but I'm going to have to change my ways.  I know you'll miss me but I can't go on like this... our affair is over (after I knock back the blackberry cobbler ice cream, two pints of homemade vanilla and the last mint chocolate chip...) I'll miss you.... maybe I'll see ya around...