Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day.... I guess....

 So today the Valentine's parties were held at the elementary school.  Shaw of course got gobs of candy and of course Sager was highly disappointed - he said - all I got was paper (uh they're call Valentines dude!)  so I went through their sacks and I found the sweetest Valentine's card.  It was handmade - you know that's my favorite!  Well I called Sager in there and asked Sager who made it and he made an awful face and I said - what's up with that? and so he procedes to tell me that he really liked the card and that he thought that it would be from someone really sweet and kind (like Ansley), but it wasn't.  So I said well Sager what if they couldn't afford store bought Valentine's? and he said being poor is fine but being mean isn't and she's mean....hmmmm... I believe your right young man. 

 So moral of the story - I don't know - maybe even a handmade card can't change a hateful heart or made handmade or store bought doesn't really matter unless you give a really, really big piece of candy with it.... just saying people - I'm a realist.

Have a great Valentine's Day!
Much love,

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Real Therapist.....

The other day one of my friends asked me if I had ever been to a counselor.  I said well yes, yes I had.  So of course that brought back a plethura of memories... It was circa 1989 or 90 and I was still in high school, I think my sister was either a senior or right out of school.  One night - I came in late... really late and I'm sure it was a school night.... I had been meeting my deadbeat boyfriend who my father lovingly referred to as a slackjaw or dog breath.... whichever anyhoo... my sister had the audacity to jack me up about coming in late because just who did she think she was - she wasn't my mother - which I believe I told her just that same thing... and she attacks me!!!.... Well thank God I had begun my ninja training at a young age, so I deflected her blows and landed a hard right... right on her eye - truly I have to admit it - it was  a lucky shot - and Sarah got me back by pulling a plug out of my hair... well it went from bad to worse - my brother separated us and the next thing I know I was on trial..... that's right I said TRIAL!!!! My father thought that he would scare me and he threatened to sell my show animals and .... and.... this is where the story gets kind of hazy.... I asked my sister what she remembered and she said that I walked out of the trial! How about that! See I am tough!!! ( and for the record - I did contemplate running away but I didn't have any money and I didn't have a way to get there and the idea of walking in downtown Amarillo was really not what I had in mind for a good time.... I was tough but I wasn't stupid!) 


Anyhoo part of the sentence was that my sister and I had to visit a therapist.... get real!! Like I was going to spill my guts to a complete stranger right beside my sister who I was presently highly ticked off at.... 


Well so my sister and I show up at the Chinese Therapist (whose name was Shirley Sherwood) (and my sister said that she remembers that the room was colorless like she was in a science fiction movie... see clearly she was crazier than I was.... and she was the one who instigated the whole incident!!!) (I was FRAMED!!!!) and she encouraged us to "float on the love river...." uh.... Shirley.... I currently was hacked off at my sister and I really wasn't gonna float anywhere with her and conversely she felt the same....this is what she said about the whole ordeal... I don't remember much besides the river of love thing. I think I've blocked it from my memory. I remember you were totally pissed because we had to go and you thought "Shirley" was on my side. I also remember the room was dark and there was no color anywhere...weird, Kind of like a science fiction movie. I also remember thinking I shouldn't have had to go because I was the VICTIM...haha! Hope this helps.   


The victim.... and her attacker but which one is which ?
Look at her, doesn't she look mean in her red preppy sweater? I was framed I tell ya.... framed!
Anyhoo.... where was I going with this? Oh yes... I highly encourage anyone and everyone to go see a therapist whether it's a Chinese one who's name is Shirley who encourages you to float.... or not because the moral of this story is that the love river must have worked because my sister and I are the bestest of friends... and clearly we won't be in public in a bathing suit, floating anywhere!!! just saying!!!


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

An Ode to my Marine Therapist....

As I left school yesterday, I went home and promptly donned all my cold weather gear in order to feed our friend, Matt Burba, who can help you with all your pig needs, big or small he can help with it all.... (yes just a shameless plug....) anyhoo... I realized that I may have jested too much about my Marine Corp Therapist aka my father, so here is an ode' to dear old pops, Father, Dad, Selden...

Dear Father - Thank you for the kind and generous things that you have bought me in my life.... here's a few pictures of them...
look just what every princess needs - a pair of pink sparkly slippers for dancing at the ball hunting boots that can be used for feeding pigs since everyone knows my aversion to hunting.....

look a ball gown warm coveralls that of course are camoflauged (does anyone see the trend here?) that just like the boots can be utilized for feeding pigs.....


now here is one of the most important things - gloves, now these gloves I had to steal from Scout - thank goodness he's out of town - but my dad still bought them.... just saying....now if that doesn't say kindness and concern - I just don't know what will!

Now here's the final picture, now I know what you're thinking - I got the nose from him, well I did but the picture is of the tabogan, the hat, because it was FREEZING!!!!


So thanks dad for all the princess paraphernalia that you have given me since without them I would be a sissy and everyone knows how I feel about sissies - just think if I was a sissy - that would be one giant part of the population that I couldn't make fun of!! and how dreadful would that be!!!